David Ferguson is a liberal who really doesn’t like guns. I know, they all don’t like guns, but this guy’s gun control argument is one for the ages. He says that you don’t need a gun to defend yourself against violent armed criminals because you can simply outrun the flying bullets and make it to safety. I realize that many of you may think I’m exaggerating, but I assure you this is what he is saying.

Ferguson wrote this article for The Guardian: I was shot at. What saved me was not a gun of my own, but running fast

In case you aren’t sure what his hypothesis is, this is the subheading: “More people with guns won’t offer protection. Your first – and in my experience, right – instinct is to flee, not fight.”

Are you laughing yet? Well knock it off, this guy is totally serious. Ferguson tells a story of how he was helping a female friend move out of her “ex-soldier” boyfriend’s apartment, when things went south:

We were at the end of the task, making the last trips to my battered red Subaru sedan when the boyfriend – we’ll call him Mike – unexpectedly came home. He was drunk and angry and had the wild-eyed, blown-out-pupils look of someone who has consumed large amounts of speed or cocaine.