5/06 Three Great Cigars And Why I Smoked Them

Three Great Cigars And Why I Smoked Them

Mike S. Adams

I have a new favorite cigar. It is the La Flor Dominica Double Ligero Chisel. This 6-inch, 54-ring wedge is one of the few natural wrapper cigars in my humidor. Once you taste the rich, woody (and slightly spicy) flavor of this full-bodied beauty, you’ll understand why I love it. This Dominican figurado leaves some kind of mild fruity taste on the palate that I can’t identify. I plan to smoke 100 more until I find out just what that taste is.

Two nights ago, I smoked one in celebration of the 2nd Amendment. It started when some hippie in a truck (when did hippies start driving trucks?) started tailgating me on the north end of Market Street. He was waving his hands, honking his horn, and throwing the kind of hissy fit that only hippies and two-year olds can throw. This fit took place despite the fact that I was driving above the speed limit in traffic that was too thick to clear a significant path for the hippie had I changed lanes.

But, shortly after this hissy fit, something funny happened. As the hippie passed me slowly to the right (and as I prepared to test his lip-reading ability) he shot me a peace sign and smiled. I didn’t understand his sudden change of mood until I remembered the picture of a 1911 Model .45 Auto posted on my rear window. Below the picture it reads: “Protected by the Second Amendment.” I immediately decided to call my friends at the Patriot Post to thank them for sending it.

Later on, as I lit up my Double Ligero, I realized that one of the great things about the Second Amendment is that you don’t actually have to display a gun to encourage a little civility. Just knowing it’s there can cause people to think twice. Even hippies can rise to the occasion and think twice when the alternative is a 230-grain hollow point.

Before I finished my cigar, I hatched a sinister little plan. I decided to call my friends at the Patriot Post to have them send me a stack of stickers that show a gun covered with a big “X.” Below the gun, reads the following caption: “Gun-free household.” After I post those on the doors of all my liberal colleagues, I suspect some will become supporters of the Second Amendment, too.

Tonight I plan to smoke my second favorite cigar for a very different reason. The Rocky Patel Virgin Sun Grown Torpedo is a great choice for any cigar smoker. This 6¼-inch, 52-ring beauty is a medium-bodied smoke with a rich, cedar taste. It is less spicy than the Double Ligero with a tangy finish.

I’m going to smoke this one in honor of John Underhill. John wrote me last week to call me a “hypocrite” because I, a) criticized gay activists for putting swastikas on a conservative student’s picture and posting it on the internet, and b) called them the “Georgia Tech Gay Gestapo” for doing so. John said that was an example of a “hypocritical double standard” because I called liberals “Nazis” for calling conservatives “Nazis.” But I respectfully dissent.

It was wrong for the gay activists to compare the conservative student to the Nazis because she had never placed swastikas on the internet. In other words, I was really applying the following standard to everyone: If you don’t put swastikas on stuff, I won’t call you a “Nazi.” If you do put swastikas on stuff, I will.

This all leads to a simple life lesson: If you don’t want people to call you a “Nazi,” don’t put swastikas on stuff. Or alternately stated: Liberals are victims of their own behavior more often than they are victims of conservative hypocrisy.

My last recommendation is the A. Turrent Churchill. I don’t smoke many Churchills but this 52-ring by 7-inch Mexican cigar has a rich, creamy flavor that compliments a nice earthy medium-bodied smoke.

I decided to smoke one of these last night after I went to my favorite restaurant La Costa — only to find that it was closed in recognition of the so-called “day without immigrants.” After going to a place called Two Guys Grill where the whole wait staff speaks English, I decided to support a new initiative called the “year without immigrants.”

Since I’ve decided to boycott Mexican-owned businesses for a year, the least I can do is to smoke a Mexican cigar. That should help provide plenty of jobs for Mexicans where they are sorely needed; deep in the heart of Mexico.

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and is a regular columnist for Townhall.com.