Imagine a machine designed for the military. It is heavily built, very tough, and utterly unforgiving of mistakes. It is ugly, metallic and plastic, and has no aesthetic qualities. It has evolved over the years to greater power, and has become so easy to operate that even children can do so. It makes our troops more efficient at their unpleasant task of killing our enemies.

Incredibly, this state of the art piece of military hardware is available, with thin disguising, to civilians. There’s a subculture in this country that buys millions of them. There are no restrictions on ownership, no need to justify the possession of one of these high-tech killing machines.

Even worse, there aren’t even reasonable laws on safe storage. No requirement to render them inoperable when not in use, nor that they be safely locked away. Children get hold of them every day, and cause hundreds of accidents and injuries, and all too often, deaths.

Technology exists to lock them in such a fashion that they can’t be operated by any except the owner, but the death merchants who sell them, and the extremist users of these “toys” refuse to consider any legislation mandating such. They suffer from some Freudian inadequacy that makes the very mention an affront to their manhood.

These enemies of society are organized, too. They have dozens of organizations with millions of members that shout down any attempt at rational debate. They shout about their “rights” to utilize these weapons for “sporting” purposes, or for use in militaristic death games. They won’t even accept a simple cooling-off period as a compromise.

Something happens to a person who owns one. They get lazy and stupid. They take these things everywhere, out of a paranoid fear that they might “need” them. Society is poisoned by the residue from the chemicals used for the propellant for these weapons of mass destruction. We all pay the price for the use of them.

Nowhere else in the world is there such a plague of them. Most other nations are sensible enough to make possession awkward, require special licensing, and severely punish those who commit crimes. Here, one can be drunk and stupid and utterly murderous, and walk away with a slap on the wrist.

More than 40,000 people a year are killed by these idiots with their macho, adventure-movie attitudes. 40,000. The population of an entire suburban town. Many of them helpless children who have no idea what is happening. All this, so a bunch a fanatical idiots can maintain their “right.” Their right to be stupid. Their right to play action movie star. Their right to kill.

The time for debate and compromise is over. It is time to ban them now. Round them up, destroy them all. Some speak of buying them back, but the cost is prohibitive. Society has no obligation to pay these people for their destructive devices. No civilized person should own one.

Simply seize them and destroy them immediately. Save lives. End suffering. Help society.

Ban automobiles now.

Copyright 2000 by Michael Z. Williamson
Anyone is free to copy this article in its entirety, including this notice, for non-profit purposes.